Control freaks and double-standards are hard to live with or by

The last six days have been close to bliss, barring all physical ailments of course. Christmas evening my niece and sister flew to the coast to visit my father. My husband (off work for the holidays), BIL and I spent quality time together while my sister and niece were gone and basically had a great time. Our days were filled with Xbox game tournaments and watching TV/movies with the sound turned up so I actually heard what was being said. Meals and chores were done on our time and without a fuss. Lots of entertaining conversations and laughter abounded. There was peace and order to our days. I actually felt motivated to get up and out of bed in the morning. What I didn’t notice until my sister came home was how relaxed my BIL appeared the week she was gone.

The very minute my sister and niece stepped through the front door, I felt tension. Five hours later I felt stressed, angry and wished I was any where other than my sister’s house. I mean, I know my sister is self-centered and demanding but the level of attention-seeking and desire for control is sickening. I watched as my BIL became another person, a robot. Every aspect of life in her home was changed, uprooted or challenged. For instance, the furniture in the living room was changed to suit her needs and no one else’s. Dinner had to be eaten when she wanted even though no one else was hungry. She closed all the windows and complained of how cold she was even though the rest of us were a bit warm. Dallas is having a slight heat wave this winter. Tomorrow the high is predicted to rise to 80 degrees. The TV became her domain and after her chosen movie was watched she informed us (her subjects) that she was going to sleep. With much anticipation, my BIL, husband and I sat down to watch the movie we wanted. Ten minutes into the movie my sister sends my niece into the living room and we are commanded to turn the volume down because she has a headache. Which translates to, no movie for us because without the sound what’s the point. This was the moment where I started to get angry. After having to cater to her every whim most of the day and her pathetic fits if she wasn’t the center of every one’s attention (even the fricking dog), I realized just how much I dislike my sister. She controls every thing to an insane degree and her double standards are outrageous. The sad part is that the examples I’ve given are just a tiny fraction of the control or demands she places on her household.

I’ve always known that living with my sister was difficult at best but now I wish she had never gone on vacation because I long for the serenity and simple fun that was experienced when she was gone. Sort of like the “you can’t miss what you’ve never had” mentality.

The only way I know how to deal with all the many trials in my life is to resign myself to the fact that nothing is going to get better…ever. So, I keep praying for God to make me stronger (more able to cope) and hope I can live out my days with a semblance of dignity. In the meantime you’ll find me sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth humming, “Tra la la, la la la la”.

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!