Not very motherly

It dawned on me this morning that I’ve never discussed my step-mother on this blog. I guess the “out of sight, out of mind” theory works well with regards to “her”. Being that my father lives on the west coast and he has disowned me (roughly three years ago) our paths never cross.

The first time we met was about nine years ago. I was actually thrilled to meet her and first impressions gave me hope that my father found himself a wonderful new wife. My husband and I stayed a weekend at her home to meet her and attend to some business in town. I could easily see how my father fell for her as her physical being looked like a cross between my moms older and younger sisters. The resemblance was eerie. She was so well mannered and kind. I felt like I could tell her my life story and at one point I did reveal certain confidences about my troubles with the sister (Eve) I am living with now. Big mistake!

Several years past before I saw her again and I was still under the impression my step-mom was an honest caring person. On the other hand, my eldest sibling (Lucy) firmly and maybe obsessively believed that my step-mom was the spawn of Satan. I laughed behind Lucy’s back because I met our father’s new wife and she was kind and attractive. I must say at one point (when we were informed of my fathers marriage) I was a tad bit concerned because the nuptials were rushed and by rushed I mean that step-moms late husband had only been dead for a couple of months before my father and SM married. Lucy swore that our new SM killed her husband and was now sinking her talons into my father for his wealth. I was so sickened by my sister Lucy’s allegations that I stopped speaking to her for awhile.

The next time I spent time with my SM was at a family reunion about four years ago. Once again my visit with her seemed normal and I thought we got along fine. Until I saw how she carried on with my sister (Eve). It was like they were peas in a pod and SM could have cared less about me. Towards the end of the reunion I gleaned information from my older sister Lucy that my SM disliked me and my husband and we were maliciously the “talk of the town”.

Still, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe my sister Eve used her usual “sucking-up” talents to draw my SM over to her side. My brother thought our SM was a sweet lady so maybe Lucy was trying to cause dissension in the family which was her favorite hobby.

Back to the present. I’ve learned a few lessons since I met my SM nine years ago. The first lesson is, if your sister (Lucy) is the queen of manipulation and deception she is probably good and seeing these traits in other people. One by one each sibling has had some kind of confrontation with my SM and we all have ended up disliking her intensely. It’s as if she is trying to sever the bond my father has with each of his children to keep him all to her self. Or, something of a darker undertaking. Some details about her that cause me to worry are first and foremost the fact that she has had two husbands both deceased aside from my father. We didn’t find out about her having two previous husbands till later, we only knew of the existence of the first husband. She has a daughter and grandchildren that she refuses to speak to or spend time with. But the biggest beef with her is that she lied deliberately to my father concerning me. This lie was part of reason my father won’t speak to me now. I won’t go into any details because it’s very specific and I don’t want my family members to be able to trace me to this blog. Suffice it to say the woman blatantly lied to my father about me and I have witnesses to this event but for some reason my father won’t believe me or doesn’t want to believe me. My brother was the next to find fault with her and then finally Eve. The one sibling that loved my SM the most is now her biggest enemy. Eve now believes as Lucy that my SM is the spawn of Satan. Eve’s dislike stems from something my SM said regarding Eve’s daughter. My sister Eve also believes that our SM is turning my father against his children also.

After some thought my husband feels that my SM is trying to get my father to disown the rest of my siblings because she wants their inheritance. I’m not sure what prompted me to lay all this out in the open, I rarely think of my SM, but there it is.