Turtled

I’m peeking out of my turtle shell. I’ve been hiding out…withdrawing into my secret self. I tend to internalize way too much and a few thoughts have kept me busy.

Apparently, my BIL feels my presence in his home has damaged his relationship with a long time friend. He used a very injurious analogy as to why he believes my husband and I are to blame for the supposed damage. Basically, it amounted to my hubby and I are ingrates as well as moochers and his friend feels uncomfortable being around us.

Let me say up front, my husband is rarely home (works long hours) and when my sister and BIL have friends or guests over I retreat to my bedroom strictly for the purpose of giving everyone space and private time. Thus, I felt safe in the knowledge that my BIL’s friends would experience no discomfort from my invasion of their usual gathering place.

What stands out quite glaringly to me is that my BIL knew that his analogy would cause me pain and that the comparison of my husband and me to a person considered by him as despicable had me reeling. My BIL professes to be a kind, caring, Christian man yet his scathing adjectives regarding mine and my husband’s character gives away his true belief.

I guess one of the reasons I have let his words take up room in my mind is because most of the time he is so nice. He makes me laugh, we have a great rapport and even my sister remarks that she admires our “connection” or believed friendship. I’m left with an unsettling sensation with the polar opposite personalities my BIL puts forth to me.

Also, I have a few more perplexities I’m trying to analyze. Wouldn’t life be easier if people were honest and you didn’t have to surmise what is really on their minds?