Up hill and not so sighted

Happy freaking birthday to me…and for my first gift...I lose my drivers license! I’m so angry at myself. I realized my Drivers License expires at midnight as it is my birthday. I muster all the energy within me and head over to the license office, fill out all the paper work and pay the fees. I then press my face into the evil eye testing machine as instructed and look for line five, but the fifth line is so fuzzy I can’t read a single number. I stand with my face pressed tightly against the machine praying for the numbers to become clear and visible but they remain blurred. When did my eyes get so bad? I haven’t driven in quite some time and I’m usually homebound but still, it’s such a shock.

Now, I must spend more money that I don’t have for an eye exam and glasses. Then, I have to take a written exam, driving test (how embarrassing at my age) and the dreaded eye test. It is a very odd feeling to know that I have no current license.

As for being my birthday, I could care less. I don’t feel negatively about getting older I’m just not in a celebratory frame of mind. In fact, I feel like a total failure. I’m losing myself. This isn’t whining it’s just a factual observation. I’m unable to participate in my own life due to all my ailments and even the smallest events are an up hill battle.

I know, shut up and buck up.