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I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying not to fall apart. I can’t let the “unknown” suck the life out of me.

I’m on my husband’s insurance plan, finally and I had my office visit today. I have a large “abnormality” showing up on my chest x-ray. I guess all those chest pains weren’t stress after all. My next step is a CT scan. I should be getting a phone call tomorrow telling me where and when. Along with the CT scan I am to see a pulmonary specialist after the scan results are ready.

To be honest, I feel like I’m floating outside my body. I feel like my head is in a cloudy place. People are moving around me, talking, walking, doing their normal routines and I’m sitting in the living room floating. My mind is screaming at me, “Wake up you idiot, you are sick and now you have proof”.

I must go and be alone with my thoughts.