What you tried to say to me

Friday, April 29, 2005

Stomach churner

Because of her (you know who, my sister) desire to do only the least she can possibly get away with I live in a home with drawers and kitchen cupboards either halfway open or all the way open. I spend a good part of my day pushing in drawers, closing pantry doors or closing cupboard doors. Part of the reason I waste my time is I’m afraid someone might bump into the open drawers or bang their head. Okay, and I’m also really anal, I also straighten pictures on the walls too.

She also has a nasty habit of leaving things out, like the vacuum cleaner or what ever project she is working on. Where I draw the line is the paper towel roll. If she gets out a new roll from the pantry she will go only as far as unwrapping it and then set it on the kitchen counter. She refuses to hook up the new roll in its holder. This drives me crazy. I know it’s petty but gosh darn it, why can’t she just finish the task.

If you are squeamish do not read any further.

What really irritates me the most is…she rarely flushes the toilet. Ever hear the saying, “If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down”? Well she takes that saying to heart. It is disgusting, not to mention smelly. Now her daughter is learning this bad habit. She never would have done this in my mother’s home.

I’ve said too much but I really needed to vent.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The fun never ends

My sister and brother-in-law talking about their upcoming vacation.

Sis: Honey, let’s go to Colorado that should be exciting.

BIL: Maybe, Utah might be nice.

Sis: Is Utah farther than Colorado (leaving from Texas)? Um…isn’t that the place where those Mormon people live?

This is what I live with.

Monday, April 25, 2005


The past couple of days I’ve been unable to clean any dishes or clean the kitchen as a whole. I have no energy and I’ve also been experiencing strong pain associated with one of my illnesses. I’ve spent more than my usual time in bed and missed out on some “funny” stuff from my family. Luckily, I have my husband to fill me in on some of the juicer tidbits.

Sis: “Where is Maryrose?”

Hubby: “She’s lying down, she doesn’t feel well.”

Sis: (Who is either in bed or lying on the couch, day in and day out and who has been “sick” or her version of it for the past several days?)

“She’s always sick”!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am sick that's what diseases do to a person and that’s why the dishes are still in the sink among other things.

My husband told me it took everything he had not to tell her that my illnesses are real, documented and diagnosed by a licensed physician and not something self-induced or looked up in some medical book.

Friday, April 22, 2005


Two thoughts like liquid flowing in my veins.

Both thoughts are painful. The pain of hurting those that love me especially God or the pain of one more day.

I hold the last thought like a secret, close to my every breath, a delicious release.


Knock me down with a feather...I got my free Tea!

If you haven't noticed, I put up a link on my site for Adagio Teas and they sent me a nifty little teapot and a tin of vanilla flavored black tea as a gift. As I'm not much of a tea drinker, it was with some trepidation that I made my first cup but it was very delicious. I'm not a warm tea drinker so I made iced tea instead. The second cup I used frozen orange juice ice cubes and it was heavenly.

Thank you Adagio!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

A sister thing

BIL finally gave up on his game of “keep me and hubby off the net”. Not having access to the Internet drove me quite mad.

I’m having difficulty with my conscience and the part of me that wants revenge. I trash my sister on my blog almost every post because…she is just so mean. She has done things directly and indirectly that has affected my life and how I live it. Sheesh, the list of wrongs she has done solely to me is so long. Yet… at times I feel so frigging guilty for telling the whole world what a screw-up she really is. Then, she comes home from shopping and stands in front of me and says, “Guess which hand?” and the surprise is a type of candy bar that we both used to love when we were kids. I smile and say, “Thank you” wondering why she is being so nice because nice for her means she wants me to do something for her. Then she says, “See, I’m not as mean as you think I am”.

There is a look or bond that siblings share and when she plays that card I get so sentimental. Why does she have to drive me crazy! If she was just a tad bit more like a good sister instead of a Cinderella step-sister my life would be almost complete.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Games people play

This will be short.

My BIL is up to his old tricks and my ability to log onto the net is rare and I never know when. To all my friends, I'm not ignoring you!

Hopefully, BIL will get tired of this new game soon. I miss you all and I'll write as soon as I can.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

For a friend

Life is one big fat conspiracy.

I don’t have a single adult friend or relative that is happy, well-adjusted or has reached any goals they set in their youth. Whether rich or poor, there is no brass ring. I was taught when I was young that if I worked hard, followed a certain moral/ethical code and treated people the way I wanted them to treat me I would end up living a comfortable life.


Life sucks. Nothing is comfortable. The world is a dark pit filled with anger, sadness, loneliness and most of all evil. Earth is the devil’s playground and if you don’t believe in the devil, boy will you get a jolt in the end.

Sure, there are moments of sweet joy but they are so few and far between. I just think that instead of fairy tales told to us when we are young maybe we should have “Truth Tales”. So when we grow up and life slams us up against a wall with full force we won’t fall to the floor wondering what the heck we did wrong.

As for me, I’ve let go of my dreams and goals and live each day with as much verve as I can muster waiting for when the Lord brings me home. I’m…not joyful about my choice but I’m too tired to fight.

Getting to my real point…

I have a friend who is suffering…really suffering. I can’t give details but just know she is beautiful, caring, loving, honest, hardworking and is more thoughtful than most anyone I’ve ever known. Who ever reads this blog please (to the 10th power) pray for my friend. If you knew her you would love her too.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Take out the trash

From the sister who spends her days sleeping, watching TV, shopping on eBay (for hours), whining about her husband or child, drinking coffee all day and eating Godiva chocolates.

Sis: (in kitchen)…why do I always have to take the trash out? (In her most frighteningly whiny voice).


Me: (from living room)…are you speaking to moi?

BIL: What honey? (In his sweetest, yet unconvincingly caring voice)

Sis: Yes you!

Me: I can’t hear, what are you saying?

Sis: Why do I always have to take the trash out? I’m the one that has to do EVERYTHING around here. I’m sick of taking the trash out and everything else.

BIL: (puts his headphones on and pretends to listen to something of great importance on his computer)

Me: …………………………..

Sis: Well?

Me: (trying very hard not to say what I really feel)…I’ve taken the trash out several times.

What I really feel.

My sister works around her home as much as a dead person does. If a mummy was propped up on the couch next to my sister I would seriously have to consider which one did more work. I have never understood her extreme apathy. She is healthy, able and nothing is in her way from being the best housekeeper, mother, wife, sister or whatever. Since my husband and I have lived in her home (over a year) she has dusted only once. She vacuums roughly once every two weeks and does laundry when they are down to their last clean pair of undies. As for cooking, let’s just say she doesn’t. This is what she feeds her husband for dinner:

Sandwich & chips

Microwave lasagna

Soup heated and served in the same pan with crackers

Cereal (more than twice a week) and she makes him get it

Fast food (that she makes my husband bring home)

Then, for my niece it’s usually cereal for dinner or macaroni and cheese. I don’t think my niece has ever really eaten a complete meal, not that she would if you gave it to her.

Also, my sister is forever asking her husband to do things for her that are what she considers too difficult. Difficult things would be sewing buttons, helping my niece with her homework, or just anything she doesn’t want to do at that moment.

What I’m trying to say, is that my sister does nothing around the house yet she complains to me that she does it all. She slowly but surely pushes more and more household tasks on me because she feels I am her personal slave. The appreciation factor I feel for her giving my husband and I a place to stay is dissolving slowly but surely. I already do all the kitchen work for a household of slobs, prepare the coffee maker every night for the next day consumption, baby-sit occasionally, listen to her whine night and day, keep her child occupied (at least twice a day) so that she can have some alone time, baby-sit her dog (don’t ask me to explain this), spend countless hours a day trying to cheer up my sister as she is “depressed” plus a variety of other miniscule tasks. As I’ve said before I am practically an invalid. I suffer from two major illnesses, depression and a few undiagnosed maladies that put me in a chair and keep me from having a life. I can’t stand for more than a few minutes and yet my sister complains that I don’t do enough. She is in denial about the choices she makes and how she treats people. When I started this post I was so angry at how badly my sister treats me but now I just feel sorry for her.

Okay, I feel better now.