I'm messed up

Even though I was basically abused most of my childhood, somehow I kept optimistic. I woke up every morning with a smile and a hope for a new beginning. I wasn’t Miss Merry Sunshine but I always had hope…

Now I feel like my mind and body have been taken over by Aliens from the planet Depression. I ask myself every morning why I even bother to get up. I don’t feel like myself. Life is a gift and precious and I KNOW this. I have a purpose and by 90% of the world’s population I have nothing to be upset about…yet I can’t shake this cloud hovering over my head. I hate being the whiny blogger. I hate being the person with all the mental problems and financial problems. BUT I AM! Stop the freaking merry-go-round I want to get off. The part of me that used to love life, people and the beauty that was all around me gets smaller with every passing day.