Looking glass

It has been two weeks since my “Away” post. It feels like only two days ago that I wrote that post, yet, the two week absence felt like a lifetime too. How can time appear to be passing at two different rates of speed? Eh, who knows?

I’m changing. Not a profound change, just little minor tweaks. Days spent in reflection have helped me to see me without the rose-colored glasses. Thus, I’ve been more realistic about my past misdeeds/self-absorption and more accountable for them also. Along with the bad, my peek in the mirror has shown me the good as well. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve never owned up to my kinder, sweeter side. I’ve often been told that I’m a sweet, generous and loving person and I’ve even spoken those very words myself but deep down in the darkest corner of my heart I’ve always pictured myself as a monster or a villain. Guilt, self-doubt and listening to certain people one too many times must have branded this unhealthy self-hate into all parts of my brain. Thankfully, the villainous monster image is fading as my mental state slowly heals. I’m far from my goal of a more balanced healthy mindset but I like the changes so far.

On the other hand, I regret that my blogging has suffered. I’m still not able to return to my normal blogging routine, which was reading my favorite blogs (daily) and sending emails or comments to blogger friends new or old. To all of you who read my blog and continue to comment THANK YOU! I’ll admit I’m selfish, I enjoy reading your comments and hope they never stop but I understand that I’m asking for a one-sided relationship. I know I can’t continue this way forever it is so unfair…

Thanks again, friends.