Avoidance

I’m here with some pettiness again…

I worked out a schedule, which for awhile was saving me from completely breaking down or going commando on a wall with my head. I go to sleep between 7:30am to 10am and wake up around 3:30pm to 6pm. Yes, I realize these are insane hours but there is a method to my madness. By the time I would get up in the evening there would be only a few hours of making nicey nicey with my niece and sister/BIL. My niece would go to bed at 8:30pm and my sister would follow at about 11pm. Then maybe my BIL at midnight or 2am. This left me with time to myself and I could watch all my TiVo’d shows without interruptions. Plus, it’s impossible to sleep with my husband during the night because of his snoring. I was starting to get used to this lovely schedule and even though it was a bit lonely I relished the freedom. Then…school let out. Not having to get up in the morning my niece decided to stay up late and she is the dictator in this family so she made it official. My sister started letting her stay up till 10:30 every night.

This lasted several weeks. Unfortunately, it dawned on my sister that she was now “stuck” with spending even more time with her daughter because they were on the same schedule. Sly fox that my sister is, for the past week she has been sneaking off to bed about 11pm while my niece is staying up later and later. My niece doesn’t even get in bed till past midnight or 1am. My BIL realizing he is in charge of taking care of his daughter also sneaks off to bed or he goes out to the garage and fiddles with an assortment of non-existent manly “jobs”. There I sit in the living room while my niece is non-stop with her “tween” conversation and the infamous, “watch me do a back flip or hand stand” over and over and over. Like I’ve said before, I love my niece but it is so hard to be with her because of her spoiled selfish personality. Even her own parents can’t spend thirty consecutive minutes with her with out finding some excuse to get away.

I’ve thought about this situation over and over and my pettiness wins every time. I don’t want to spend time with any of them. I don’t want them in my life, to a certain extent. I want to just live out the rest of my days without dealing with them. I hate watching them enjoy life and its bounty while my husband and I suffer. I hate watching them screw up and instead of getting their due they get handed a way out of their troubles with whipped cream and a cherry on top. I’m tired of watching my husband work his butt off for the few pennies he makes while my BIL gets gifts dumped in his lap with out lifting a finger. But the worst part of all of it is watching my sister dump all her problems on me or her husband when all she has to do is stop flaking out on her responsibilities and start teaching her child discipline and how to respect others.

I feel ashamed that I envy how easy my sister’s needs are taken care of and I feel ashamed that I’m going make sure that my sister stops her new method of avoiding her daughter. You see, the pecking order for my niece is this, if mom is not around she seeks me out and if either mom or I is not around she seeks out her dad. If I make myself unavailable by sitting in my bedroom in the dark while my husband sleeps just to avoid my family I will. It’s that bad. My niece, as far as I know, would never knock on my bedroom door while my husband is sleeping, neither would my sister. With me out of the equation my niece will bother my sister and keep her from sleeping. My sister will eventually get up and try to find an escape from my niece but in reality she will be easy access for my niece who will then get the attention she wants. It won’t take long for my sister to realize that getting into bed early as an avoidance tool doesn’t work and she will be back to sleeping in late and staying up late and I can have my peace back. Now you know how devious I can be and that I more than likely deserve every nasty thing that comes my way.