Tra la la

Some time ago, I happened upon a children’s show called, “The Banana Splits”. I think the show was from the 60’s or 70’s. The theme song, or at least part of it, embedded itself deep into my psyche. Tra la la, la la la la, Tra la la, la la la la.

At any rate, when I’m in a particularly agitated state this little ditty magically broadcasts non-stop inside my head. And, if I’m past agitated and moving on to the “losing my mind phase” I hear the music and I rock back and forth in my chair, as I’m doing write now. Well, sort of. It’s very difficult to type, rock to-and-fro while a nonsensical song is playing over and over in your head. You see, I can multi-task. The cause for my eccentric…okay, crazy behavior is listed below:

1. BIL is harassing my sister because he didn’t like her tone of voice when he asked her a question. She does have a very rude/mean tone of voice most of the time.
2. Sister, feeling under attack, bit back with her usual nasty sarcasm regarding his inability to stop his “addictions”. BIL, in denial about his addiction, barrels around the corner also in attack mode and asks my sister where his prescribed (he also has a stash of non-prescribed too) medicine as gone. Sister, looking very sheepish exclaims, “I only took two”.
3. Then, the rest of the evening was like wading through a house filled with hidden land mines. If I walked away from the living room I get the BIL coming to me defensively (and very much in denial) pleading his case about how cruel my sister is and that he is not addicted. Plus, he went on and on about how she is addicted to his prescribed medicine. If I get anywhere near the living room my sister is up in arms at her husbands behavior and how immature his acts. It doesn’t matter to either of them that they are both addicted and they are both immature. I’m being sucked by a gravity pull created by them both so they can have access to me to let out all their problems. I can’t tell them the truth because, hey, I’ve already tried a million times and they aren’t willing to listen. I know I’ve talked about them so many times, you all are probably sick to death about it. In my defense, I’m living in the middle of it, so there.
4. I want to call my Dad so badly that my heart aches but I was told by my sister that he probably won’t accept my call. Today, the doctors told my sister that he is improving slightly what ever that means. My father-in-law just passed away several months ago and I can’t help but feel my father is on the same track.
5. The best part of my day was the conversation I had with my husband today. “I love you honey, but if you want the truth, I don’t listen to you some of the time…actually, most of the time”. This in response to the fact I asked him to pick up a sub and broccoli soup for my dinner and he didn’t get “my” soup. I tried Quiznos recently and I love the broccoli soup and I’ve only ever talked about my love for their soup a gazillion times. I also wrote my order on paper and while handing it to him remarked that I love the soup so much. When he got home I took the soup and put it in the refrigerator to save for later and he says, “Hey that’s my soup”. After much talking he finally fessed up to the fact that he doesn’t listen to me. If felt like a trillion ton anvil fell on my chest. Call me sensitive but that cut like a knife. He is my best friend and the man I love but I guess it’s only one sided.
6. Everyday I wake up and walk into the kitchen, the same kitchen I had spotless before I went to bed the night before and there are piles of dishes in the sink and crumbs all over the counters. None of the mess is from my husband or me as we use paper plates, microwave dinners or take-out. Today was hard to take because of the hurricane like appearance of the kitchen. Several days ago I had a conversation with my sister about my health and that doing dishes for her family was starting to become a problem for me. She not so subtly let me know that she would not take over kitchen duty until she got some assurance from a doctor that I was as ill as I described.
7. This brings me to how horrible (physically) I feel today. My throat is killing me and I have swollen glands that feel like softballs. My eyes burn so bad that it feels like a hundred needles are traveling through my eyeballs into the eye sockets. I’m having heart palpitations which always give me the willies and I feel nauseated. This on top of all my other ailments.
8. Lastly, the insurance company still hasn’t gotten me on the policy yet and they said to try back Thursday.

I say this with much trepidation, tomorrow can only get better, right?