What you tried to say to me

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Major venting

I am about to go commando on my sister and BIL, then say things I’ll probably regret. Not really but it felt good to write it.

My sister and BIL are so freaking pathetic and LAZY. With my BIL not having a job you would think between the two of them things would get done around the house. Nothing could be further from the truth. The house hasn’t been cleaned, vacuumed, dusted or any sprucing up that would lend some semblance of order to the mess within. I literally have to shuffle my way through the dog toys, children’s junk and computer paraphernalia scattered around the living room and on the floor. I’ve tried to give my sister and BIL some slack because they have been under an enormous amount of stress with situations I’m not able to mention but the slack just went out the window. The laziness is so pervasive, like weeds popping up all over their home.

For example, how hard or demanding is it to fill up the pepper shaker? I don’t use pepper but I happened to notice the shaker has been empty now for over a week. My sister and BIL use pepper on everything so they must be taking the Costco size container of black pepper from the cupboard and shaking it directly to their food. What would be so bad about taking the process just one step further and pouring the pepper into the empty shaker? They rarely go grocery shopping (fast food or cereal is their sustenance of choice lately). They expect my husband to pick up stuff for them on his way home from work while they just sit around the house all day sleeping, watching TV or surfing the net. For their coffee they use non-dairy powdered creamer but that ran out 2 weeks ago so they use my refrigerated dairy creamer which usually lasts me quite some time but now is gone in four days with their heavy coffee drinking habits. Two more examples of their slothfulness concern paper towels and sugar. Can you guess? They refuse to put a new roll of paper towels in the towel rack and if the sugar bowl is empty they take out the large Tupperware container from the refrigerator and scoop out a teaspoon or two for the cup of coffee they are drinking at the time. Oh the horror of taking two more steps and filling up the small sugar bowl! And yes, I’m the one that has to always fill the bowl or else it would be empty every time I reach for the bowl. Call me petty for one or two empty bowls or shakers but this is a daily routine of a gazillion instances of neglect and it’s feeling more and more like I’m the owner of the house and I’m having to take responsibility for all that needs adjusted, fixed or replaced.

Did I mention they leave lights on in every room whether they are in the rooms or not? Then blame my husband and I for the whopping electric bill. I make the coffee everyday because my sister says it’s too much for her. I take care of their dog more and more. They stopped getting the Sunday paper so my husband and I have to buy it if we want a newspaper. We pay for all the toilet paper, hand soap, condiments, dishwasher liquid, snacks and a million more things. We are the poor ones and we are the ones trying to save money to move out but my sister keeps shoving more and more requests for household items in addition to the monthly rent we pay. Oh, and my sister used to make sure all the dirty dishes in the house ended up in the kitchen and were placed in the sink. Now I have to hunt for dirty dishes in all the rooms of the house.

It would probably take me all day and night to record the large and small (trivial or not) bad habits of my sister and BIL but it just dawned on me why I’m so angry at them. They in their minds feel that my husband and I are trash and that they have rescued us from a horrible existence. They believe we should bend over backwards to please them for their generosity. My sister’s words verbatim, “You should be so grateful to us and work like slaves to show your gratitude”. I’m sure I sound like such a wimp and that the paragraphs above don’t prove anything but my childish anger but what I’ve written is just the tip of the iceberg. The more serious reasons for my anger can’t be revealed. Let’s just say that my husband and I have been shoved into a world that isn’t friendly and I have to constantly watch my back.

Back to my initial point, the real reason I’m so infuriated at my sister and BIL is that they took out a very substantial amount of money from their savings to invest in a “strangers” business and they lost all the money. The venture was a scam. In other words, my BIL was more trusting of some one he just met then me. The thought of doubling his money meant more than me. If he had loaned the money to my husband and I (which would have enabled us to purchase a trailer/home) we would have paid him back AND with interest. Now, the money is gone and my BIL acts like a little baby and pouts all day and does nothing to find another job or even help take care of his daughter. He whines about the situation and acts like his troubles are worse than anyone else’s.

I just want to spend the last few years of my life in my own home (trailer or house) and find joy in the small things with my husband and cat. But, I’m stuck living in my sister and BIL’s home while I watch them throw away their lives on drugs, pity and bad behavior. I’m envious and irate that they have so much and they are not grateful and squander it when my husband and I are in such need. It’s not pretty but there you have it, the ugly truth about me.

7 Comments:

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT USELESS TOOLS THEY ARE

 
At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*smacks your family*

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

so sorry mary rose. I can twait until you get out of there. Everyone deserves their own four walls. Love ya.

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger Wally Banners said...

lmao great story i felt it deeply lol.

 
At 11:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can understand why you're feeling that way. i agree with mrs. darling. u deserve your own four walls. i can't also wait until u get out of there.

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger Maryrose said...

The shame I’m feeling at the moment cuts deep. Jealousy/envy is a big problem for me and I feel lower than pond scum. I think I need to put some effort into analyzing why I’ve never been able to squelch my intense covetousness. I’m certainly no more deserving than everyone else. It was very hard to admit my sin but now I’m glad I confessed.

I know I say this often but you internet friends are such a blessing. I really don’t know what I would do without your kindness and advice; you mean the world to me. :-)

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger Corry said...

MarieRose, I can understand why you feel that way. There is nothing to be ashamed of to feel or think it, not even to vent it. It is probably better that you do the last. If you don't, the feelings stack up and come out the "back door", which could result in vengeful actions.

But I agree, when people live together, they all have their responsibilities and their part. I know you don't like to see them suffer, but by taking on their responsibilities, you enable them to continue. They will do something when it hurts and affects them.

Hang in there girl, God knows:-)

God's Grace.

 

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