No tears shed just numb

I’ve been waiting, bated breath, for the inevitable boot from my sister and BIL and just when I forget to steel myself for the blow it happened out of the blue. My living arrangements were supposed to save my husband and I from homelessness and when we moved in nine months ago we were told that we had a place to stay forever. There are so many feelings washing over me at this moment and the hell my family has put me and my husband through would break most people but when your choices are living in a small car or living with two drugged-out, greedy liars I chose not to live in the car again. Then today out of no where my sister sits in a chair next to me and tells me she wants my husband and me out…now. I know why and it boils down to the fact that I know too much about certain aspects of their lives and if I wanted to I could put a nail in her coffin, so to speak. Plus, my sister is very spiteful and she found out I was helping a family member hide drugs from her so this is her way to stick it to me. After her announcement that she wants us out she put on this huge drama about how hard it is to be her and that kicking us out wasn’t because of anything I had done but because she needed to be alone with her husband and child. I couldn’t move or react, I was in shock. Then she said that I had no idea how hard her life was and that she needed to hear from me that I was okay with the situation and that I still think of her as a good person. VOMIT! BARF! This is what I was feeling. There is no love in my heart for my sister any more. She has lived a life filled with love, loads of money and people doing everything for her. She does nothing! She doesn’t work, she is a horrible mother and wife and even more horrible sister and she wants me to feel bad for her because she wants to kick us out into the streets. She has gotten everything she’s ever wanted and she has turned my father against me with outrageous lies…I am filled with such deep, pure, white rage. There are so many incidents of bad behavior and greed on her part that I could write a book.

Here is the topper. A few hours ago I found out an old friend of mine passed away this morning. I’m grieving the loss and my sister turns to me and very coldly says, “I’m really sorry about your friend but don’t forget to concentrate on finding somewhere else to go, it would be for the best if you move out within a week”.

We cannot share the same blood. How is it possible that this monster disguised as my sister shares the same genetics? I’m dealing with not only one crippling disease but two, I just lost another friend in the same year, my husband and I are in debt/financial ruin and we have no where to go but she kicks us out while acting that her life is so horrendous because she is tired of having to see me do her housework while she sits on her ass watching TV. I’m slowly slipping away…I feel so numb and my heart aches with so much agony. I keep telling myself there is a reason for all this pain but it’s all bull. There is no reason just one persons evilness.