What you tried to say to me

Friday, August 18, 2006

Where's the rain?

Stop it, stop it right now! I know this is Texas and it is summer but how many weeks of triple digit temperatures can a person take.

I know, I'm shutting up.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I just read a news article at CNN (online) and I’m not sure if I should be angry or happy. There are only a few brief chapters of my childhood that I can remember that bring to mind joy, safety and childish exuberance. When my father was stationed at Ft. Belvoir, Virginia my life was as close to being perfect as a dysfunctional life could ever hope to be. I still remember the smell of the air on crisp autumn mornings and riding my bike for hours Saturday mornings and most of all, my beloved mother always being there for every skinned knee or the fabulous weekend picnics with our neighbors.

When I read the CNN article I felt like someone yanked the last remaining bit of broken foundation from underneath my feet. The gist of the article is this; the military wants to build a theme park next to Ft. Belvoir. I feel very uncomfortable about the whole project but I don’t know why. Maybe I just need some time to process the information.

Monday, August 07, 2006

My bit of heaven

No more kitchen duty for me.

I took my stand and told my sister I could no longer clean everyone’s dishes. My husband and I have basically gone the paper-plate, plastic utensil route and any other kitchen items we dirty we clean immediately and put away. I think the real truth as to why it took me so long to put my foot down was simply that I didn’t want to face being the burden I’m fighting/fought so hard not to become. I’m saying goodbye to my independence one chore at a time.

Some peace of mind has trickled into my life by way of new/homemade bedroom furniture. My husband put the old queen mattress set we were using in storage and built a bunk bed giving us more space in my sister’s tiny guest room. My old recliner is now in the bedroom along with a new larger TV and PVR with taping abilities. Next to my chair, my husband has a very tiny computer desk so we are together again, although very cramped. I only leave the bedroom for bathroom visits, my meals and to baby-sit my sister’s dog when everyone is gone. Her little dog is so small and so cute; I hate to hear her howl when my sister and BIL leave the house.

I hadn’t realized how much stress being in close proximity to my sister and niece was causing me until now. Sometimes, as I walk from the kitchen, down the hallway to my room I hear their voices, some of their conversations and the tension between my family members is like a choking fog. I scamper back to my sanctuary and even though the room is so small that two grown adults have to play “you move this way, I’ll move that way” to get to a chair, bed or door it’s a splendid bit of heaven.